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DEAD MEN TELL NO TALES!
The Pirates of the Caribbean ride has been at Disneyland since 1965. It was originally called the Blue Bayou Lagoon, and has undergone many modifications since it originally opened. Unlike most of the rides in the park, it is completely original - not in the ride design, but in that it isn't based on any Disney movie and doesn't have any Disney characters in it. The ride consists of a boat trip through a smugglers cavern, a plundering pirate ship and a town being sacked by pirates. And, once, long ago, a man named Ron Gilbert went on this very ride. It is lucky for us that he did, for it inspired the
perennial classic The Secret of Monkey Island.
Anyone
who has played a Monkey Island game and been on the Pirates of the Caribbean
can see the similarities. As these images of concept art and scenes from the
ride show, there is a clear similarity with scenes found in the LucasArts
games. To see any of the pictures at their full size just click on them.
 
 
Click
on the two large pictures above to get more information on them.
It
would be unfair to say that the Monkey Island games are completely
inspired by the Pirates of the Caribbean. It certainly provided the
initial inspiration, there is no doubt of that - there is not enough material
on the ride to provide four full length computer games. And, to be fair, the
ride itself was probably partly inspired by Treasure Island by Robert
Louis Stevenson. That, as far as I know, was the first work of fiction in which
pirates were depicted as buccaneers and swashbucklers, instead of bloodthirsty
thieves and murderers. There is little dispute that the real 'pirates of the
Caribbean' were nothing more than criminals who killed many innocent sailors,
and made a great profit from ill-gotten gains. As Treasure Island is a
novel written for children (though less-read by them today due to its age, and
therefore the Victorian English grammar) it would be inappropriate to depict
the pirates as such vagabonds. There are, of course, deaths and fights in Treasure
Island, but not as much as there would be in real life. Take for
example, the theme song to the Disney ride: "yo ho yo ho a pirates life
for me." Am I the only one to remember Billy Bones' little ditty?
Fifteen
men on the dead mans chest -
Yo-ho-ho
and a bottle of rum!
Drink
and the devil had done for the rest -
Yo-ho-ho
and a bottle of rum!
More
than a slight resemblance, you'll agree.
I
think we've researched the history and inspiration for Monkey Island enough
- when it all comes down to it, Ron Gilbert created the characters and
locations himself, and together with Tim Schafer, Jonathan Ackley, Dave
Grossman, Sean Clark and Matt Stemmle to name but a few, four fantastic
games were produced. What is important now is that Disney have seemingly run
out of ideas. Why else would they be turning several of their Disneyland
attractions into movies? Of course, this means, as you no doubt know, that the Pirates
of the Caribbean is coming to the cinema screen. And whether you like
Disney or not, whether you've been on the ride or not, have no doubt - this is
the closest we are going to come to a Monkey Island movie.
It
does seem rather strange to me that the executives in charge of these decisions
will make a movie based on a theme park ride. A computer game would seem a more
marketable resource to get ideas from. For I don't think that any company would
green-light a movie based on swashbucklers after the last one. Cutthroat
Island was released in 1995, and is officially the biggest flop ever. Many
mistakenly believe that this is Waterworld - this in fact made a great
deal of money at the box office, it just cost a lot to make. A flop, by
definition, is a movie that fails to make any money what-so-ever. I don't mean
literally nobody sees it or buys it, just that the profits generated by sales
do not make back the amount of money spent to actually make the film. The
amount of money Cutthroat Island made was -$81 000 000. Please note,
that is MINUS 81 million dollars. Incidentally, the 10th biggest flop of
all time is also a pirate movie - Pirates (1986) lost $30 300 000. Based
off this, any film executive worth his salt would only give the green-light to
a pirate movie if it already had an established fan base - Cutthroat Island was
completely original, and so no-one had a desire to see it before it was made.
Ok, ok - so the Disney ride does have a fan-base. But it can't be as large as
the Monkey Island fan base.
I do
know why Disney aren't making a Monkey Island movie, though. They don't
have the rights. And why should they pay George Lucas to make a film based off
a game that only exists because of a ride they originally created.
LucasArts sure as hell didn't pay Disney to make The Secret of Monkey Island,
simply because it was 'similar' to the Pirates of the Caribbean. And
knowing George Lucas, if Disney express a desire to make a Monkey Island movie
he'd probably just make one himself. The very fact that Disney would be
interested would suggest that the film would make money, and why should Disney
share in any possible LucasFilm profits? Its a ruthless business.
So,
back to the plot. The Pirates of the Caribbean movie stars Johnny Depp
and Geoffrey Rush, and the early word is that the plot is about a pirate curse.
*cough, Curse of Monkey Island, cough cough* ahem. One
interesting point is that the (relatively) famous 'jail scene' is to be
included in the film. So we can sit in the theatre and enjoy the film with
reverse-logic - "They got that from Monkey Island 2!!" etc. I know a
lot of people on aren't
really all that interested in this movie, they see it as a Monkey Island rip-off
and not as a chance to see the same pirates we know and love sailing around the
Caribbean looking for treasure, breaking curses, and falling in love (with
women, calm down spartacus.)
Also,
I want you to think of this: If there is one thing Hollywood can be accused of,
its the 'jumping on the band-wagon' trend. As soon as Spiderman smashed box
office records in the USA on its opening weekend, all the other studios
commissioned a super-hero film. Now we have Superman year one, Batman year one,
Superman vs. Batman, Spiderman II, Spiderman III, Daredevil and The Incredible
Hulk to name but some. All because Spiderman made money. So if you all go and see the Pirates
of the Caribbean movie, and it becomes a huge hit and makes a huge heap of
profit, then maybe George Lucas will sit down with his legions of yes-men, and
a Monkey Island movie will be commissioned. Because the other rule of
Hollywood is this: Things are only hot for a few minutes - think back to 1997.
The 'hot' topic was asteroids. We get Deep Impact and Armageddon. How many
asteroid movies since then? Lets see if we can make pirates the new hot topic.
Download
these amazing Pirates of the Caribbean files!
theme song!
(MP3, 398Kb)
instrumental!
(MP3, 439Kb)
early unused version! (MP3, 639Kb)
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